just a day ....

Just a day .... Just as u seem to take a step forward and start to feel ok ish life or the people around u piss u off just when expected to get let down cuz things seem to go to well it goes down the plug hole.

When all u want is a diversion from it all it don't happen expected too much as usual and guess I not allowed to have even a little anything so tired if being let down over and over .

So so alone I'm trying so hard to MoveOn and be me but just seem to get a kick in the head don't know y I bother when it just turns to this let down feeling stupid feeling makes u wonder y I bother to try atall.

I love u miss u need u
Sorry x I just want you x

Sunday ......

Sundays are the worst day of the week the day u died a day a part of me died too I still remember that horrible day so vividly the worst day of my life I had ur pajamas washed and packed ready to visit you but that six o'clock call was the worse call ever I got there so fast as I.could but you had already gone I wish I'd had one last kiss one last hug one last I love u x I.know how much you love me and you would have known I was coming and that I loved you and would have done anything to be at ur side.

I know u were sick but ur poor body had enough and your beautiful heart broke and so did mine but u will live on in those who deserved you who really loved you and especially in me ur my streingh my heart will inspire me to live my life be happy I will do in time but some days are better than others Sunday is the worst.

You promised you'd never leave me that's why I know you still here I couldn't go on without you.

Until we meet again with one of those cuddles and a kiss I will live on with u your my heart.

I love u my darling Xxxc

Valentines day x

Our first valentines day apart I don't know where to start I feel numb I am afraid to cry just incase I don't stop, I know you'll be missing me too just one hug would be enough just too feel you again just one more day us alone together would mean the world to me. I know we cannot have that but you are always with you promised you'd never leave me I promised the same and we will never be apart you are my heart I will try to be happy and just think good happy thoughts and smile for you.

I miss you I will always love you  my Marc Xxxc

Another day without you

Another horrible numb but heartbroken day with you gone its so hard to know how to deal with it to know whether to cry fall apart or ....do all I can to be with you again I miss all the little things so so much how you loved nothing more than a snuggle up on the sofa together just to be close to me you have left so much of a big hole I can't think can ever be filled it's so hard to believe I could be happy again you  loved me all of me thought I was beautiful who will ever see me how you  did I don't want to live my whole life alone but I don't think I can or somemone can take your place  who will ever want me if anyone will see what you saw.

I love you still always will my babi
My Marc Fuller my heart Xxxc

My life started with you xx

Life can find  you when you least expect it like a fate thing you come across a person who makes your life start and from no where you're a new you happier fulfilled , person you do things you'd never imagine doing feeling things you'd given up on but they bring them all to you suddenly you feel like you are important wanted beautiful for just being you the greatest feelings you ever experience like being  hit by lightning its not the easiest life but every second of it is amazing a person you thought you didn't deserve because they were too good for you but they are all they have ever wanted someone so scared by the hurt and pain of life but they fall for you so completely they change they fight everything just to be with you the kinda love that you are lucky to get once in a life time if you are lucky enough to find it I had all that .

Marc my Marc you saved me from being a sad lonely person who hated herself, you thought them all so bravely but when you finally seemed to be winning your own personal fight took you pain so much pain but you still thought so hard you couldn't have thought braver or harder still with hope and a smile and so much love for me.

The day you died you couldn't fight any more your poor body was so tired in so much pain the day your heart stop and mine broke but I thank you for your strength  you are still my heart still with me I feel you  but miss the little things that's what hurts the most .

I love you for you all you always will the same way you love me .

R.I.p Marc Fuller died too young too soon to live your life but our time together was all the best time off my life as it was yours .